Saturday, April 14, 2012

Shooting and peeing, an analogy.


The first time I went to the shooting range, my friend gave me some much needed directions as to what not to do with a gun in your hand, one of the things he said was “if you’re going to talk to someone behind you or you want to look around you put the gun down first”.  At first I wondered at this seemingly strange piece of advice, but then the first time I did it I understood his warning, because though you may think you’re only turning your head you’re actually turning your torso shoulders and arms right along with it and that’s how you end up accidently pointing the gun at someone.

Today I realized how similar shooting and peeing are; or rather, guns and penises in this analogy. Because the Boy, he never, ever manages to just pee in the toilet. It gets on the seat (which he invariably forgets to lift up), it gets on the floor, it gets on his socks and only a marginal amount actually hits the toilet bowl. And today I had an epiphany, it’s because he isn’t physically able to just pee, he has to fiddle with the flusher, or talk to his sister, who is, inexplicably, always in there with him, he turns around to see who’s walking past the open (what else?) door, and his torso, shoulders, arms and hips go right along with him. Which all just begs the question: why don’t we just make men pee sitting down?

7 comments:

  1. Alcira Molina-AliApril 14, 2012 at 9:10 PM

    Lol :)
    Ah, another one of life's great mysteries, solved.
    Cheers, Alcira

    nerochronicles.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yup, and then the toilet would be a hell of a lot easier to keep clean.....

    ReplyDelete
  3. Why don't they pee sitting down?  Who knows?  Probably for the same reason they can't wipe themselves completely after a number 2 and leave us to clean their underwear.  :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. We haven't started potty training yet, but I know about this from his 5 year old cousin.  His older sister writes poems and leaves them taped to the wall behind the toilet about aiming and not peeing everywhere.

    ReplyDelete
  5. E' una moda che passerà, è la novità e la scoperta di avere il pene.....abbi pazienza! Niccolò l'ha fatto fino circa 6 anni e ora si siede bello tranquillo e non sbaglia la mira (saranno state anche le mie urla disumane ad ogni scoperta di goccia fuori dal centro?), Paolo è nella stessa fase del tuo Ragazzo: "vedi come sono bravo? Sono un maschio e la posso fare in piedi"".....certo se prendesse il water saremmo tutti più contenti!
    Una cosa è certa: sono divertentissimi, l'orgoglio del pene ce l'hanno nel DNA!!!!!!

    Un bacione,
    barbs

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have met a couple of men who pee sitting and if you are in a private bathroom it makes perfect sense to me. I mean how many of us as room mates, girlfriends, wives swore we would teach our sons to be perfectly toilet trained (as in: put the seat back down, dry the droplets from the seat and floor, ALWAYS wash your hands)? Now that my son is close to getting potty trained I have been thinking about this issue a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Seriously, I'm thinking about making the 8year old clean his OWN toilet for a while.
    I also think my husband should HAVE to scrub our toilet at least once a week. I am also contemplating seriously changing his diet.

    It is no secret that cleaning toilets is my LEAST favorite job in the entire house.I'm also a big fan of (and seriously missing) the stand alone 1/2 bath with just a wee little sink and a toilet. This was unofficially deemed "the guys' toilet" and NO ONE outside of them was allowed in, so if it got a bit grungy, well, we knew who was to blame.

    ReplyDelete